


Ocelot's Heart

by cresselia8themoon



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-05 02:20:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13378071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cresselia8themoon/pseuds/cresselia8themoon
Summary: Heinz and Perry are called into OWCA by the request of an ocelot agent from the same family who adopted Heinz so long ago. Surely a visit wouldn't hurt? Except things are much less peaceful in the forest.





	1. The Call

**Author's Note:**

> I had an idea on Discord and people were encouraging me to write this one.

The phone rang for the seventh time in the past twenty minutes, and Heinz grumbled and turned over, pushing his pillow against his ears in a futile attempt to block out the noise. But he only succeeded in muffling the high-pitched trill. 

Too bad he wasn’t evil anymore. Inventing a Send All Telemarketers to Jupiter-inator was highly tempting. 

Finally throwing aside his blankets, he fumbled with his panda slippers before shuffling to the living room to answer the phone. He immediately regretted leaving the warm comfort of his bed. 

Heinz snatched up the phone, not even bothering to check the caller ID. “It’s 3:21 am. I am exhausted, I just want to sleep, so stop calling me before I decide to get my revenge on you,” he snapped. It felt good to pour his irritation out on the poor telemarketer. 

“Well, good evening to you too,” a nasally voice responded. “Sorry for calling this late, but there’s a situation at OWCA headquarters.”

“Whatever it is can wait ‘til morning,” Heinz yawned, his finger hovering over the hang up button. “Good night. Don’t sleep tight. Hope you let the bedbugs bite.” 

“There’s an ocelot agent here and she specifically asked for you! I don’t know why. In my opinion, she should have asked for someone decently competent. Also, she’s destroying Monogram’s favorite curtains!” 

“The one with the palm trees or the green and orange polka dots?” 

“The green and orange polka dots...Agent O, leave that couch alone! Great, she’s scratching up that one too...look, just come now! Agent P’s picking you up, so be ready!” Carl shouted. Then the line went dead. 

He didn’t see what the big emergency was. Agent O was doing the world a huge favor by shredding those hideous curtains. 

Then a soft beep came from the balcony, and Heinz looked over to see Perry the Platypus waiting in his hoverjet. Perry yawned widely, staring grumpily at Heinz with bloodshot eyes. He’d probably been called out of a nice, warm bed too. 

“You too, huh?” Heinz stifled a yawn. “Hey, I want nothing more than to be in my bed right now. I swear if they’re just calling me in because they think I’m the ocelot whisperer or something-” 

“Krrrr,” Perry growled. He was clearly not in the mood. 

Heinz nodded in understanding. “Okay, feel free to grab something from the kitchen if you want. I don’t think they’d like me showing up in pajamas...well, I don’t think they like me that much period but that’s besides the point. So I’ll be right back!” 

 

* * *

 

 

The ride to OWCA headquarters was mostly uneventful, except for a brief moment where Heinz forgot the no touching rule and almost pushed the eject passenger button. Perry almost spilled his tea when he slapped Heinz’s hand away. 

There wasn’t even an option for music on the dashboard. What kind of modern technology didn’t even allow for a few tunes to help the driver keep awake?

Monogram’s office was a disaster zone. An ocelot scattered cotton from what used to be a pillow, while the curtains hung in tatters. Several claw marks were gouged out of the couch, while Carl ran around like a chicken trying to do damage control. 

“Great, you’re here,” Carl muttered. His glasses hung askew, and his pants leg had several chunks of fabric ripped out. “Agent O! You can stop shredding everything and potentially getting me into trouble now!” 

Agent O opened her mouth to hiss at Carl, then her eyes suddenly grew large. Before Heinz knew it, he was flat on his back with an ocelot nuzzling into his stomach. 

It was hard to be cross with Agent O purring up a storm. Even Perry didn’t look quite as irate anymore. Though he still looked ready to make a move if Agent O decided to try using him as a claw sharpener. 

“Look, you’re cute and all, but I don’t know you,” Heinz said. “At all. I haven’t seen an ocelot in years. Except when Mama Ocelot visited briefly when I had that whole scheme with the backstories....” 

He shuddered at the memory. That day had not been one of his finer moments. 

“This is Olivia,” Carl explained. “She joined our division a week ago, and there’s still some paperwork that needs to be processed. It’s really unusual for an animal originally from the wild to join a branch where the majority are domesticated ones. She’ll need to undergo a lot more training before she’s ready to take on field work. But she was particularly insistent on being assigned to the Tri-State Area instead of her homeland in Drusselstein.” 

Given how most people in Drusselstein reacted to the wildlife, Heinz didn’t blame Olivia for seeing a chance and escaping while she could. She wasn’t exactly a cub, but at the same time she was smaller than an adult ocelot. 

She was probably the equivalent of a teenager. It wasn’t an accurate comparison though, since ocelots and humans aged differently. “So why did you want to see me, Olivia the Ocelot?” Heinz asked. 

He hoped his ocelot wasn’t too rusty. 

 _I’ve heard so much about you!_ She purred, finally allowing him to sit up.  _Meema’s always telling me stories about how you couldn’t kill prey cause you didn’t have claws and stuff, or that one time you rescued Aunt Berry from a bramble bush and got all cut up-_

She continued spouting off details of what she’d heard about him, but Heinz found himself caught on a single word. Apparently there was something in his body language that gave him away, because Perry’s hand was rubbing small circles into his back. 

“So Mama Ocelot’s a Meema now?” Heinz had to stifle a laugh. “Sorry, I’m okay. Meema just means grandmother. It’s kinda funny. So how are Papa Ocelot-er, your Lolo, Berry, and Aspen doing?” 

Olivia’s ears twitched, her tail drooping. A shadow passed across her spotted face.  _Please, not right now. Can we just leave for Drusselstein already? I only joined because...because...look, never mind, let’s leave._

Her jovial demeanor was gone, and she sat in silence. 

“I don’t get it. One moment she was chattering up a storm, and now she’s acting like this? We need to get an animal translator stat,” Carl muttered. 

Perry slowly approached Olivia. Then he made a fist, tapping his heart twice before pointing to Olivia. She tilted her head in confusion. 

“He’s asking for you to trust him,” Heinz explained. “It’s kind of an insider thing we have. Between me and Perry the Platypus here, not the entirety of OWCA. Wait, I completely forgot to introduce you to Perry the Platypus! Well, we kinda have a history but you want to get to Drusselstein soon and Perry probably wants me to shut up so...yeah. Believe me, he’s good at what he does.” 

Olivia’s eyes flicked between them, then she hesitantly raised her paw and patted her heart. Heinz repeated the gesture, to make it feel complete. 

But he couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was something seriously wrong in Drusselstein. 


	2. The Aircraft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was focusing on All Time Travelers Go to Heaven for the past few days. Finally got around to this one.

“I haven’t been on one of these things since the intern turned evil,” Heinz said to Perry as they loaded several boxes of non-perishable food onto the OWCA-issued aircraft. “I’m just surprised I can finally ride with mammals who won’t yell at me for touching stuff.” 

Perry undid a flap on a nearby box, gesturing to the contents inside. Curious, Heinz peeked in. He grinned. “Wait, did you think this up? This is amazing!” He reached in, pulling out a small lever that had a few loose gears attached to the handles. 

 _What are these for?_ Olivia mewed in confusion, pawing at a small bar. 

“Keeps me occupied,” Heinz explained. “So I don’t hit something important on the dashboard and send us crashing into the watery abyss. Monobrow learned his lesson after we went to Africa. Apart from the ringing my doorbell and slapping me bit. He hasn’t done that yet. Don’t know if he meant it or it was just an empty threat.” 

Olivia nodded, still looking confused. But she accepted the explanation anyway. Together they loaded the last of the boxes into the aircraft. This one was furnished with a kitchen, bathroom, and several mattresses. OWCA must’ve been coming up with new models lately. 

Perry went into the cockpit to make sure everything was in working order, giving strict orders to Heinz and Olivia to put on their seat belts and wait until they reached altitude. According to Carl, there was an autopilot feature in this model so Perry didn’t have to manually operate it the entire seven hours. 

_Uncle Heinz?_

Heinz almost jumped out of his skin. Nobody had ever called him uncle so willingly before. Roger was childless as far as he knew, and Charlene didn’t have siblings. 

“Something up?” Heinz asked.

She fidgeted in her seat, her paws wringing in embarrassment. _I don’t like going into the air. It’s scary. I thought I was gonna lose my stomach the first time I flew._

“Yeah, the acceleration does that to some mammals,” Heinz said, taking her paw and gently squeezing it to comfort her. “You’re doing a lot better than my first time in a plane though. I was flying to Drusselstein from Danville for my first semester at Dr. Gevarrlikj’s Evil Science 101 class. She’s really short, kinda walks like a crab, somewhat heavy accent. Anyway, we hit a patch of turbulence while flying and I panicked because the plane was rocking and swaying in every direction. Barfed on the guy next to me, so he punched me in the nose. I don’t think it ever healed right after that.” 

Olivia giggled. _Evil Science 101?_

Heinz nodded. “It’s sort of the gateway to evil science. The basics. Chances are your future nemesis took it too. Then you have Evil History, Evil Calculus, Evil Musical Numbers, and the list goes on. You know, now that I think about it, they weren’t exactly creative with the names.” 

“You’re all clear for takeoff,” Carl’s voice came in over the intercom. “Good luck.” 

Heinz felt Olivia’s paw tighten around his hand as the plane accelerated, finally lifting into the air. Looking out the window, he could see the ground shrinking away, wisps of clouds floating by as they ascended. 

She looked slightly green. 

“Did I ever tell you about the day Perry the Platypus first met?” Heinz asked, hoping to take her mind off the flight because he didn’t see any paper bags she could puke in if her stomach decided to act up. “I went to get my picture taken one day, because I was just starting to get my evil career off the ground. I needed a picture for my blog online, get my name out there, have it on file at the OWCA, that sort of thing. It turned out nicely too. Much better than my driver’s license pic, but then again those are always terrible no matter what. Fact of life, I guess. So as I was walking out of the photo store, I had a feeling someone was watching me from behind the mailbox. And that’s how I met my nemesis, Perry the Platypus! Well, former nemesis now.” 

_I hope my nemesis is nice. I’ve heard the senior agents talk about their fieldwork, and some of those evil scientists just sound mean._

“They’re supposed to come off as mean,” Heinz said. “It’s part of the package deal when you’re evil. But if they aren’t treating you right, give me a call and Perry the Platypus and I will be paying them a visit.” 

* * *

Once the plane was at cruising altitude and set to autopilot, Perry joined them. They passed the time by playing Monopoly, although Olivia had never played before and needed the rules explained to her. But she was a fast learner, and so far had collected the most properties out of the three. 

Heinz groaned as he lost another two hundred to Perry, who somehow managed to land on all the railroads. It was a truly unfair setup. Perry had a smug smile on his face the entire time. 

His own money supply was dwindling away due to the combined forces of a platypus and ocelot. And the ocelot couldn’t even read. 

Perry rolled a seven, landing on Park Place, one of the few properties Heinz actually owned. He handed over a fifty, then held his hand out expectantly for change. 

Heinz folded his arms. “You aren’t getting any change. I need all the money I can get so I don’t have to mortgage.” 

Perry continued to hold out his hand, never taking his eyes off him as Olivia took her turn. When the staring finally grew uncomfortable, Heinz picked up the dice and chucked it at Perry. 

He quickly lowered the brim of his fedora, and the dice bounced off harmlessly. When he raised it again, there was a look of pure ‘ooh, you’re definitely getting it now’ in his eyes. 

Heinz grabbed a handful of houses out of the box to defend himself, just in case. Then Perry snatched the entire stack of tens and threw them at Heinz. He barely managed to block it, then he hurled several of the plastic houses. Perry whipped them back with his tail, and they struck Heinz on his chest. 

It didn’t take long for them to forget about the game pieces completely, and soon they were just roughhousing on the floor. It had been a while since they physically fought each other, and Heinz found that he kind of missed it. Perry wasn’t hitting as hard as he usually did when he was thwarting, and Heinz refrained from throwing his partner across the room. 

After several minutes, they stopped for a quick breather. Perry laid on the floor panting, a tiny smile on his bill. Heinz was about to grab water from the kitchen, when he saw Olivia beginning to tear up. 

“Hey, it’s alright! Just a thing we do! Neither of us are aiming to hurt!” Heinz quickly said, worried that she was crying over their small scuffle. Perry’s smile disappeared, and he wasted no time in consoling Olivia. He gently rubbed circles into her fur as she cried. 

Heinz sprinted to the kitchen and returned with a cup of water in record time. Olivia gulped half of it down, then stared down at the remaining liquid in embarrassment. 

 _Sorry_ , she sniffed. _River and I wrestled all the time when we were little. I miss him. And Mama and Papa too…._

The horrible feeling he had earlier abruptly came back. Somehow he figured Olivia wasn’t telling them everything. 

Heinz almost considered that her immediate family had left her behind, but ocelots were a tight bunch. They wouldn’t abandon their young voluntarily. 

Unlike humans, Heinz thought bitterly. Certain people had a knack for that. 

Perry made an encouraging gesture with his hands. Olivia didn’t react. 

“Would you mind telling us what’s going on in the forest? Just in general. Perry the Platypus likes to be prepared,” Heinz said. 

Olivia drank the rest of her water, setting her cup down. 

_Well, Aunt Berry’s got a kit now. And two more ocelot families are living with us. One of the papas doesn’t like Meema. Some dumb argument over territory a few moons ago, I think. And we’re the only ones left._

Heinz hadn’t realized there were more ocelots in the forest. He’d never met any of them, since he, Aspen, and Berry knew not to venture beyond Papa Ocelot’s claw marks on the big sycamore. 

“What happened to the others?” Heinz prodded. Maybe he was asking too many questions, but he had to know. 

Perry remained stoic, though his eyes betrayed how worried he was. 

 _Humans,_ Olivia answered with a slight whimper.  _They ambushed us when we were asleep. Only Meema and I survived that night. Aunt Berry was meeting her mate at the time, so she was safe. I...I was the only one who wasn’t dead. Or injured._

She slowly crawled over to Heinz, nuzzling his arm as she tried to reassure herself like a lost kitten. 

Well, she was practically a lost kitten. 

He moved her into his lap, allowing her to stay there while she eventually cried herself to sleep.

Perry came over, stroking her cheek as she slipped into an uneasy sleep. They still didn’t know how she came across OWCA. Or if the ocelots knew of her whereabouts at all. 

“Perry the Platypus, I just realized something,” Heinz said. Perry slowly looked up at him. “Gimmelshtump is the closest town to those woods. What if we wind up dealing with them?” 

Perry could only pat Heinz on the back and hope that wouldn’t be the case. 


	3. The Path

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for late update I had tests and an obsession with One Piece.

Heinz woke up to an ocelot on his chest. Since he couldn’t move without disturbing her, he just accepted his temporary status as a living pillow. Olivia seemed even tinier when she was asleep, curled up into a golden ball with whiskers and spots. 

“How much longer?” he asked Perry. 

Perry made a zero with his thumb and index finger. 

“Wait, we’re here already?” Heinz said in surprise. The flight had gone by so quickly. “I think this is the first time I haven’t gotten leg cramps from sitting so long on a flight. I’m just gonna scoot out from under you….” 

But Olivia wasn’t having it. She growled in her sleep, wrapping her paws around Heinz’s arm to prevent him from escaping. 

It took Heinz and Perry ten minutes to ease her off enough so Heinz could stand up. 

“Could be worse. I could’ve had a tiger on top of me,” Heinz said. “Or you could’ve winded up a prey item. Speaking of which, we’d better sort that out so the ocelots don’t try to eat you. I mean, platypi and ocelots don’t even have the same habitat naturally so I don’t know if you’d even be appetizing to them.” 

Perry crossed his arms. 

“Look, I know you can defend yourself just fine, but they could still mistake you for a chew toy.” Then he caught a glimpse of a hideous brown cloak that hung on a hook by the door. “Whoa. That is a really ugly shade of brown. Please tell me I don’t have to wear that. That looks like the sort of thing you’d wear to a funeral around here.” 

Perry pointed out the window, and Heinz caught a glimpse of the boundary between the village and the forest. 

He sighed, grudgingly accepting his fate. “Fine, but only so people don’t freak out over an ocelot in their midst.”

* * *

 _I’m not a cub anymore,_ Olivia growled.  _OWCA agent, remember? I don’t need to be carried._

Perry folded his arms, giving her a stern look. 

 _It’s just a little walk! I can be sneaky!_ Olivia protested. 

“Perry the Platypus is right,” Heinz scratched her ears to calm her down, which seemed to be working. “You need to get in here so the villagers don’t see you around their houses. It’ll only be for a few minutes. You can come out once we’re in the forest.” 

Still grumbling, Olivia finally allowed herself to be hidden in the folds of the cloak. She didn’t weigh much more than a child. Heinz wrapped his arms around her belly, adjusting his grip so she would be more comfortable. She could peek out of the cloak, but prying eyes wouldn’t be able to see in. 

As they exited the aircraft, Heinz tried not to think back to his biological mother, who owned a similar traveling cloak to the one he currently wore. She always put the hood up when she was disappointed in him. He learned early on that he was doing something wrong if her eyes were hidden within the darkness of the cloak. 

In hindsight, it happened a lot. 

Once the aircraft was disguised with a cloaking device, they set off for the forest. Heinz vaguely recognized the dirt path that led to the deeper parts of the woods, where all kinds of magical creatures were rumored to live. 

“We should make it clear that you’re not gonna be Platypus a la carte,” Heinz mused. “After the Agent T incident, you’d think OWCA would be more careful where they send their animals.” 

 _Who’s Agent T?_  

“Timmy the Turkey, or something like that,” Heinz said. “He was eaten by his nemesis on Thanksgiving Day. That’s a human holiday where you can be as gluttonous as you want and nobody will judge you for it. Kind of a gruesome way to go out though.” 

Perry was equally grossed out. 

Olivia stiffened. _If my nemesis tries anything like that on me, I’m crushing their bones until they’re nothing but dust._

“Yeah, he was the first on LOVEMUFFIN’s ban list,” Heinz muttered. There was very little the members of LOVEMUFFIN agreed upon, but the ban forbidding Agent T’s nemesis from joining or setting foot in their meeting place was the exception. 

Suddenly Olivia poked her head out of the cloak, scenting the air. Heinz pulled her in quickly, looking around to make sure nobody saw her. The only people he could see were three young boys from the village, but they were too engrossed in their game to pay attention to him. 

 _I smell ocelot!_  Olivia protested. _I want to see who it is! Lemme go!_

Heinz felt a sharp prick on his hand, and he yelped in pain, pulling his hand out and dropping Olivia. The two small punctures bled slightly, but he was fine. Perry tried to catch Olivia when she dashed past him, but he only succeeded in pulling a few hairs from her tail. 

Two of the three boys screamed as Olivia jumped into the middle of their group, snarling and hissing as she pushed a small kit behind her. The kit shook uncontrollably, covering its head with its tiny paws. 

The third boy tauntingly waved a long, spindly stick in front of Olivia’s face. She growled at him too, but winced when the stick hit her face. Perry walked up to them and broke the makeshift weapon with a sharp snap, pointing angrily at the houses. 

The boy only laughed. “Jeez, what’s with all these dumb animals today?” 

“Take it from me,” Heinz said as he gently scooped up the shivering kit. “These two fight crime for a living, and they can make it hurt. You’ll be going to bed with an aching back if you try anything.” 

“Don’t tell me what to do!” the boy snapped. “My father is the village leader! He’ll be hearing about this!” 

He dragged his companions away, his nose high in the air. They cast mutinous glares at Heinz, Perry, and the two ocelots. 

 _Human!_ The kit he held shrieked. 

 _Wait! This human’s okay! You heard the stories about Uncle Heinz!_ Olivia purred and rubbed against his leg to show that he wasn’t an enemy.  _This is him! And Perry the Platypus is his…um, former nemesis, I think. Uncle Heinz and Perry, this is Aunt Berry’s kit. His name’s Rowan._

Perry waved at Rowan, a tiny smile on his bill. 

Rowan relaxed, a sigh escaping him.  _Thanks. Those humans back there scared me._

“Well, you’re safe now,” Heinz shrugged. “Least we got here in time. Bullies in Drusselstein can be really brutal.” 

 _Rowan, what were you doing near the village?_ Olivia’s ears flicked as she tried to catch every sound, worried they were in danger _. You should be close to Aunt Berry!_

 _I just wanted to give Meema something to eat,_ Rowan protested.

Olivia growled at him.  _You haven’t been taught how to hunt yet! And you almost got hurt! Please don’t stray from the others, okay?_

Rowan nodded meekly.  _I really missed you. Thorn and Willow aren’t fun to play with. At all._

 _They’re hunters. They need to find as much as they can,_ Olivia replied.

Heinz ran his thumb against Rowan’s side to calm him down, realizing he could easily trace the outline of the kit’s ribs without looking. That was strange. The ocelots usually ate well. Sometimes even better than the humans. And if there wasn’t enough prey to fill every belly, the parents would give up their share to the kits. 

Despite the claims his human parents made when he returned to the village, Heinz never recalled being malnourished with the ocelots. 

He set Rowan down. The kit circled Perry, sniffing him closely and batting at his tail.  _You’re the weirdest duck I’ve ever seen,_  Rowan told him. Perry shrugged, a tiny smile gracing his bill. 

Olivia giggled.  _You’re so silly! Perry’s a platypus, not a duck!_

Rowan scowled at her. _I’m not silly! Look, he’s got webbed feet and a beak! Obviously a duck!_

“Hate to burst your bubble, but he really is a platy-” A flat tail slapped against his mouth, preventing him from speaking. Perry held a finger up. Okay, he had a point. Olivia and Rowan’s argument over Perry’s species was pretty amusing. 

He had to admit, it made good background noise while they trekked through the dead undergrowth. The trees were just as gnarled and twisted as ever, devoid of leaves or any sign of life. Olivia and Rowan veered off the main path typically used by hunters and merchants, the only people who had a reason to be this deep in the forest. 

Then he spotted an old, familiar tree by the large twisted knot near the bottom branches. “Hey, hold on you two!” Heinz called. Olivia and Rowan turned around. “I wanna show you something!” Perry looked at him curiously. “You too, Perry the Platypus. You’ve never been here before, and I never managed to find a way to fit this into a backstory for a scheme.” 

Everyone followed him to the old tree. Heinz frowned at the moss that completely covered the base and thick roots. “Well, if the moss wasn’t here I could show you the small cove I used when I got disowned. Your Meema found me here. I scared her good too. She was expecting a mouse, I think.” 

Rowan giggled.  _Meema’s funny when she gets scared. Her fur gets all poofy._

 _Please don’t try anything,_ Olivia groaned. _No need to make the scolding worse._

It was almost comical, being surrounded by living beings who liked his company and listened to everything he said no matter how trivial. His younger self would’ve found the entire thing surreal, that’s for sure. But now, it was flipped. He had a company that consisted of Vanessa and non-humans that were often more human than real humans. The feeling of searching for something, though he had no idea what he was looking for, was part of the lifetime that seemed so far away. 

A small hand pushed into his palm. A reminder of what he had now. Not much, but it was enough. And he didn’t mind it staying that way.  

Olivia and Rowan walked on ahead, pausing every few steps to make sure Heinz and Perry were following them. 

“I got a little lost in thought back there,” Heinz admitted sheepishly. “Thanks.” 

Perry squeezed his fingers just a little tighter. 


End file.
